I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
