OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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