I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
