3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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