you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
