I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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