After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
