now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
