i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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