Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
