i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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