Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
