She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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