why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
