just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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