i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
