they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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