I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There's always time for handjobs
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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