Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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