I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
