Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
