After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
