I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
