I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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