Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
