Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I intend to get homeless drunk
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
