he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
