So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
