well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize