Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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