It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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