did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you didnt know i had herpes?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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