he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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