Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ketchup is God's man juice
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
