You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
