ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
