gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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