Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
