Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
