If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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