no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
