My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
