Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
