Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
