Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
