Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
