Where did you get a picture of my penis
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
