i think my mom watched the whole time
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
