Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
