I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
