were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
