found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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