I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
