I don't think brook has ever known best
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
