Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
