We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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