So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
