Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
