I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
