yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
