Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
