do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
