Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Hippo gnu deer
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize